Dienstag, August 15, 2006

'Freeeeeeedom',really???

Dear all,

Should i celebrate or think about 'where we have come after 50 something years of Indian independence?'. Well sitting thousand miles away from home, i think all i have with me is my opinion and views. Let me keep them with me for now....for the rest...'Wish you a very Happy Independence Day'. Hopefully its not just another holiday for eveyone.
p.s- hey...im working...:)

Keep in touch.
Narmada :)

Samstag, Juli 08, 2006

Learn from the 'LIZARD'!!!


I really dont know if the story is true or not but what counts is the 'message' and how we must remind oneself often on 'beauty of life'!!!

A LIZARD CAN, WHY CAN'T WE?

This was a true story that happened in Japan.

In order to renovate the house, someone in Japan Breaks open the wall.

Japanese houses normally have a hollow space between the wooden walls. When tearing down the walls, he found that there was a lizard stuck there because a nail from outside hammered into one of its feet. He sees this, feels pity, and at the same time curious, as when he checked the nail, it was nailed 10 years ago when the house was first built.

What happened?

The lizard has survived in such position for 10 years! In a dark wall partition for 10 years without moving, it is impossible and mind boggling. Then he wondered how this lizard survived for 10 years! without moving a single step--since its foot was nailed!

So he stopped his work and observed the lizard, what it has been doing, and what and how it has been eating. Later, not knowing from where it came, appears another lizard, with food in its mouth. Ahh! He was stunned and touched deeply. For the lizard that was stuck by nail, another lizard has been feeding it for the past 10 years... Such help! such a beautiful love! Such happened even with this tiny creature ... What can help do? It can do wonders! Help can do miracles! Imagine? it has been doing that untiringly for 10 long years, without giving up hope on its partner.

Think, will u do that to your partner ? Think that will you do it to your Mom, Who brought you after a big struggle of NINE long months ? Or at least to your Dad, Friends, Coworkers, Brothers & and Sisters ? Imagine what a small creature can do that a creature blessed with a brilliant mind can't.

HELP is an act, do it, let it go. LOVE is a gift, take it, let it grow. PATIENCE is a sign, we should wear, let it show.

p.s-Vinay, thanks for the story:)

Dienstag, Juni 27, 2006

INDIA-Gets better and better.


I believe we need to take out 60 minutes from our lives and really watch this video about India and its past. I say it is totally worth it. You might be bored with history but just watch this and see how our culture exceled from thousand centuries.
As a matter of fact, irrespective of the culture, learning something new and respecting is what we makes a difference.
Hopefully you will all enjoy the video.
INDIA!Not only religion, culture but the Greatest of science in simple words.

P.s- I don't promise you any 'MI:3'(Dissappointing movie, i heard) entertainment but people who come here to my blog, fishing for the 'food of thought'....this video is definently one of them.

Sonntag, Juni 25, 2006

LovE it or not but CompromisE it!


Do you ever look back and find that one question haunting you? Isn’t that question the one we all regret on or be happy about? We meet at cross roads and face the most important decisions of our lives. We tend to always see the two roads that lead to something. That something we aren’t still aware of because we haven’t made the decision of which road to take. The road we finally decide to take and see that something, do we meet that something and say ‘oh you are the one I was waiting for’ or say ‘damn! You are all get for coming here’. The circumstances I guess varies and decisions we take influences us to walk to that path. Well do we have any regrets for some of the decisions you guys took in the past? Is it worth cribbing about it and pondering the same question tag ‘why’ again and again? I believe in the saying that ‘Have no regrets in life, coz it’s not worth it’. I tend to easily say this but maybe when I look back on some of my decisions, I don’t always have a smile on my face. But I do look content enough coz that taught me something. Well, this is not exactly the topic I wanted to get to but ‘my thought never hold back’ so let them flow. Let’s come down to what I actually want to blog today.
As I am creature of ‘questions’, I ask myself how we are bond to such beautiful things in life but sometimes our ego fails to show us the reality? Can we fight that ego of ours and say ‘dude! Off with you I have a life to lead’. According to the Bhagavad-Gita (Holy book of the Hindus), it says that ego is one of the things that detours a man on his path to ‘Nirvana’! Nah, it’s not the rock band, well money and time detours getting to Nirvana, the Rock band. Well coming back the Gita also says something beautiful… ‘Don’t expect and you never will be disappointed’, Attachments are the cause of all misery’s, work your arse off and leave the results to come. Yeah sure that’s my version of the Gita, only if Lord Krishna used slang like this, would have been much cooler ;). Anyways the one that interests me the most is ‘Attachments being the cause of all misery’. Well I so want to agree to it coz ‘been there done that’ but also want to stand up to the lord and say dude!! That’s not true. Hmmm…this issue was actually bought up by a dear friend. He called his mom loving him unconditionally ‘a misery’ to him; Well, sorry not misery but I just wanted to relate the feeling to the saying in the Gita; hope you guys understand what I mean. Again, being loved and loving somebody is definitely an awesome feeling but what if this love forces you into things that you don’t want. The word love and compromise actually co-exist I think. Should anybody be loved or love just to wake up one day to write down a list of compromises he or she has to start working on. Is that sort of love actually called ‘love’ or is it just ‘getting used’? My friend was actually right; we see that unconditional love in someone for us or same towards someone else that every step we take doesn’t only affect our life(singular) but lives of maybe 5 people. I am talking about the unconditionally loved people. Lucky you!! If the number is larger but equally gruesome when you just want to go and lead your life.
I had to think of number of people i would put into worry when I had to ‘bungee jump’. I hope my dad doesn’t call me up after this sentence. But I did the jump, coz I wanted to do it all my life but before I took the leap I had a hundred pro’s and con’s in my head. Not con’s about my life, yeah sure!!It was dangerous but the thought of all the people who mean a lot to me and would I cause them pain when I do this. These things brushed through my mind first rather than wondering if the cord is strong enough to hold me. Well…..Hauptsache (important) I did it, I survived.
Well what is life? If you want to live it but need to think of thousand excuses to just live it. So do I agree with my friend, yeah sure!!! but hang on…I am not that easy, I can look through the other side of the wall as well….you know:) Just read on you will soon see what I see. SO is it right to be held back because 'love exists'? Or should you consider yourself happy that you are one of them who as seen, felt, experienced love? Unlike the millions of the homeless orphans who have no go, no say and indeed feel lost and lost the right to live. What is life if not loved by somebody or not to love somebody? Do we walk out on this feeling just coz ‘crazier version of human beings like me’ just have the ‘high for life’!!!?
Exactly coming back now, this is what I was talking about the misery attachment in the Gita, well it’s not exactly misery but also not exactly something you pop open a beer bottle to celebrate on rather it does indeed cause pain. Coz’ your are held back and you start working up on compromises, does this make you a better human being or just someone out there who wants to be noticed (philosophically). SO, love causes pain, brings tears, does hold us back but still we can NEVER avoid it nor walk away from it. We get addicted to it, because the feeling is better than Marijuana. Let is just be my dad calling to check how I am doing or sis buzzing me on yahoo to bug me so I smile at her silliness or my friend asking if I had dinner (otherwise he will want to come over and eat if I did cook :D) Things like love unconditional ones, you know it that the feeling is so beautiful that we are okay with inviting some misery into our lives to just have it.
Okay I took a small ice cream break and now my thoughts are mixed up and don’t know exactly what I was supposed to write in. So that’s it for now, will write in more soon.

Don’t run away from love, dwell a lil in the ‘misery’, it’s worth it.
*No pain no gain
This reminds me, dont experience love and walk away from it, your decision but...do walk into the 'love parade' in Berlin this July.


P.s- This one is for my dad, who doesn’t say it much but I know the ‘unconditional nature of his love’ towards me:) Love you dad.

Samstag, Juni 03, 2006

LoVe, Life and the Moment


I am looking outside my train window, a beautiful view of the green Mountains, typical colonial houses and the perfect combination of clouds. I smile looking at the view, I enjoy the moment, ‘at the same time’ Pyar ke pal’ (Moments of love) playing on my MP3 song by KK. Amazing song, well he sings about how we are supposed to always enjoy the moment and reminds that if u let go off this moment coz of 10,000 things fro tomorrow, then you may never have this moment back. Let it be smiling at someone walking on the road, winking at that ‘cute guy’ on the street or just saying ‘Hello!’ to your neighbour. Well we have no idea how much thee small actions can affect the life’s of someone or our own. I don’t know about the ‘winking at the cute guy, consequences ;)’ but trust me the rest stated will work just fine and would actually make someone’s day.
Like I wrote a few days earlier that we run so fast that we always tend to forget the simple beautiful things like this never cross our mind. I just realised that a thought of someone or something would bring a smile on my face. Only if I cud hold on to this moment for ever but reality drops in….well then I just enjoy the moment not exactly thinking about that tomorrow. I may sound a lil ‘cuckoo headed’ and dreamy eyed but people come on face the fact, don’t you rather just go and kiss that someone special tonight for all the things they have bought into your life’s rather than arguing about ‘When Saddam’s going to be hanged?’. Well they are important issues as well but in the today we live in, I can always say that we live in a very uncertain tomorrow. So go and hug your kids, kiss your loved one’s and cook for your friends (don’t kill them with your cooking…only advised if you are a god cook). Do something that says ‘You are not that prick waiting for someone to Shove a NUKE bomb up your arse. Well trust me those days not very far away.
Well thinking about enjoying the moment and loved ones, I can’t stop notice my fellow passengers on the train seem to be love birds. I can’t stop from over hearing their conversation coz they are indeed pretty loud. This makes me wonder again, ‘Is there anything called True Love’? Because I still fail to understand the soul mate concept. I think two people meet and we work on something…’call it a relationship’…together and discover along time that we fit in the ‘profile and then love happens’. I also listen to guys saying…’dude it was love at first sight’!!! She was a bomb bro…!! Hmm…typical youth conversation…well that makes me question as well what if there was no sight in the first case at all but the chemistry and the connection. Does it matter? We all know that the initial likeness towards someone always comes from the ‘looks’ At least it is indeed one of the compelling factor for anything to grow out. But what if one overpasses that phase and connects first. What then? We all know for the fact that ‘ at the end of the day…we all tend to grow one day older and uglier…hmm…well not if u plan on to get implants like Pamela Anderson;)`. No I mean on a general note, our skin does begin to deteriorate someday but why we still tend to look up at the ‘bootylicious’ factor first and then the rest? So back to the point, is there any possibility that one could meet a person one day (or not necessarily meet) who doesn’t stimulate your senses or hormones by the touch or the looks but is capable enough to stimulate your thoughts and feelings? If I am not wrong, I guess this is what people tend name it ‘SAPI sexuality’. I guess we all tend to overlook at this factor in the initial phases but according to my reviews about relationships, love, like call it whatever I have seen, the case with the mind stimulation works out much more fascinating then one can imagine. Well this is this case two people just don’t tend to smile for the heck of it but actually smile coz that’s hat they feel towards life maybe or even each other. This feeling ladies and gentleman is a hard price to pay for. Only if we had Supermarkets selling them!!
I must say I still have my doubts when one of my girlfriend talks about her version of the perfect man. Hmm what is perfect I ask myself, does it lie in the looks or in the thoughts? The whole package is always amazing to enjoy on but come only that was true. Well her definition of perfect might be ‘Blond, blue eyes’ and mine ‘dark and with wits’ so…again we are bought up with a pre-conceived notion of perfect. This is the one of the words that no dictionary can actually define it for you coz it always has a different meaning to every individual. You never know ‘perfect’ really until you bump into that one person, who makes you realise that ‘ imperfections in him/her is what makes him/her perfect’. Well as always I loose out on the actual topic I was talking about but no my fault. It’s just the flow of thought and the movement in my fingers. The connection seems to be unbroken and the many questions I asked in between are for you guys fill in and comment about. Coz every article makes or doesn’t make sense but always a purpose/meaning to it. See if you can find yours in this ‘maze’.

Someone very dear to me said this
‘You like some one for their Perfections and you love some one inspite of their imperfections’. Give it a thought...

Sonntag, Mai 21, 2006

SCREAM....India's gone deaf!


Sitting 1000miles with ‚f***ed up internet connection hard been able to keep in touch with the happenings around the world. Especially what’s been happening in India? I had to read one of the forwards to realise the true pain of the situation going on with the students in India. I still haven’t got the whole essence of the problem. But I just can’t believe that our Government is so screwed up to lead our ‘future of the nations’ to this hell hole.
I am talking about the protests that are going around India because of the reservations system. I am thinking this started off with the AIIM’s (a Medical College in New Delhi). Unbelievable, how we are treated as animals and not as humans anymore. I guess the time to destroy oneself has finally come. We need no ‘Alien attack’ like the one in Independence Day. Has the world lost its sanity? I am really disappointed and equally frustrated coz sitting thousands of miles away all I can do is watch and grind my teeth. I think we are all more than comfortable here to even think about issues like this. Well I don’t blame myself but what could we do, if the ‘screwed up’ Government of ours is not going to wake up to all the protest and insanity going around. But I am really happy that we finally opened our eyes to the unjust going around. Students be it, I am glad that somebody stood up. To give you all better insight into what’s going on I am pasting a letter written by a junior doctor who’s around looking and protesting to what’s been happening. Just have the patience to read it and do something if you can. Let it spreading the news or writing a letter to the President in India. (Which I am writing for sure)… our voice must be heard although yelling from Germany or Timbuktu. Every tone that hits those ‘partially deaf ears’ of our Indian Government matters, so SCREAM.

Here’s the letter……


Friends,

Dear friends please spend some time to read this. U can make a
difference.

As u all guys know that there have been lot of protests going on
against the raise in reservations. All of us struggle for months and
years to make our dreams come true; No body in the government is bothered
about that. This new policy of govt will be a major road block in the
development of our nation and creation of a caste free society. I want to
share some developments occurring here with respect to this issue.

Abt 2 weeks back the Students Union ( SU ) of AIIMS ( UGs and
Interns ) started the protests. they held peaceful march. Their main demand
was to meet Honbl. Arjun Singh and to express their concern regarding
the hike in reservations. What they got in return. Water canons, tear
gas shells and Lathis. Some of the interns who were beaten were my
friends and I could see their injury marks. Worse, some were girls. Sad isn’t
it ? Well next few days due to their constant struggle they could get
to meet Dr Arjun Singh. No positive response was obtained. He however
promised that before sending the bill to cabinet, he would inform the SU.
The students continued to boycott their classes. Other medical colleges
of Delhi also joined. We Resident Doctors of AIIMS however were not
actively participating. We wore black badges and attended few rallies.

12 th May saw a new beginning. Our medical students were brutally
assaulted by Delhi police. Injured were brought to AIIMS. Fracture hand
bone, head injury, blunt trauma abdomen with intra-abdominal bleed; >
300 students were manhandled including girls, stuffed in buses and taken
to police station. I remember the dialogue from RDB. This incident will
prove to be a final nail in coffin for our Congress Govt. At around 3
pm the Resident Doctors Association ( RDA ) of AIIMS announced an
indefinite strike. All Junior Residents ( Acad or Non-acad ) & Senior
Residents boycotted. Protest rally was organized that day.

13 th may was the worst day in the history of our Indian
Independence and so called Democracy. Medical Students of Mumbai were beaten like
animals. Infect animals also are never treated like this. Every body
would have witness the brutality of the Mumbai Police.17 - 18 year old
medical students were beaten up. Future of our country treated like this?
And these are the same Police Men who come to our OPD and ask for
preferential treatment. Shame on them. And listen to what Bhujbal said on TV.
I thought we need a real RDB now. This incident triggered the
suppressed fire in each and every individual. We at AIIMS went on INDEFINITE
HUNGER STRIKE from 14 th morning joined by medical students from MAMC
Delhi, Lady Harding, RML Hosp, Rohtak Medical College . Slowly the fire
spread to different states of our country. You know what happened in Blore.
Calcutta, Orissa, Chattisgarh, Gujrat, Himachal Pradesh, Kerala boiled
in protests. Students of Delhi University ( BSc BCom...) also joined
the strike

The hunger strike in AIIMS continues. More than 100 students and
residents are sitting in the heat since 14 th mornings just on plain
water. Believe me we slept in the open last night empty stomach. Its only
when rain started pouring we had go inside the auditorium and slept there.

The IMA has announced complete medical bandh today ( 15 th may ).
Doctors from all over Delhi have come to AIIMS and are holding protests.
IITs and IIMs have joined the strike. Even patients and their attendees
were of full support towards this cause. One man said," My father is
admitted in NS department and is fighting for his life and death, but I
declare that I have no objection with ur strike. I support ur movement
and the cause for which u re fighting. Our country needed this."

All of us know what is right and what is wrong. Having said that I
feel that each one of us should follow our conscience. I ve written this
message because I felt there are many of who might not be aware of the
exact situation. I request each one of u to please forward this to all
ur friends, Medicos or Non-medicos. Every common man needs to be aware
of the injustice and should be involved in this effort.

This Movement will be a revolution in our independent country and
will be the most significant event after the British Rule. It will be the
cause for the rewriting of Indian Constitution where just and
meritorious people are not singled out and put to taste the adversities and
someone else enjoys the benefit.

The government cannot hide its inadequacies in providing equal
opportunities to the under privileged in rural areas by increasing the
reservations. They have ruled the country for so many decades and if in this
time they are not able to provide equality in primary and secondary
education for Indian citizens they cannot mask their failure by
providing reservations at each and every level. It’s ridiculous. The whole issue
of reservations was a political gimmick of the present govt to garner
votes.

Its time that things are not taken for granted by any one. Let it be
a senior minister police or anyone else. Whole of our nation needs to
get aware of the amount of hard work and sacrifice we put to achieve our
dreams. We should not allow anyone to make a mockery of our struggle in
future.

Thank U Friends.

Dr Kiran,

Junior Resident,

Internal Medicine,

All India Institute Of Medical Sciences,

New Delhi

Freitag, Mai 19, 2006

Grief overtakes beauty


Was in Hamburg last week for a week and what an awesome breath taking place. I loved the city so much. The beauty of hamburg just seemed to vanish where a church reminded me of the aweful things that took place there during the second world war. This was the place where around 45,000 people apparently died in Nazi's camps. Just posting in the picture of something that touched me. It was carved on the foot of a man statue who was sitting in looking very very sad. Just enough of the misery and wrath that the world puts us through.

Donnerstag, Mai 04, 2006

Big, booty and the beautiful...who the hell said that?!?


It’s me again what did you expect? Angelina Jolie(satisfy yourself with the picture), wait for the ladies ‘Johnny Depp’ not a bad idea isn’t it. Hmm…this makes me question again as always. I look at the one healthy low calorie apple on my table and also look at the juicy candy bar lying exactly 10 cm away from it. The juicy candy satisfies the craving of the tongue, the senses but adds another inch to my waist, which I happened to reduce by stretching my body into impossible knots with the help of yoga. (I just wish here that the ‘man in the box’ doesn’t pop up and deny this)….for the people scratching their scalps out, I say you can stop, it’s referred to a friend of mine. Well back to the point, now the innocent apple ‘an apple a day keeps the doctor away’, heard of that right. Well it would make my body healthier but it would taste like crap thank you very much. So I go for the temporary pleasure and choose the candy. Well, I do say out loud to myself ‘who gives a crap to my curves?’ but my mind is shouting out totally something else. Lets see, for example we immediately tend to like someone who looks close to Brad Pitt the mister perfect smile, body and smell but when it comes to a short, fat man with geeky glasses we always give it a second thought. It doesn’t actually matter if the mister perfect is crap. We kinda force ourselves to like him although he might be a pig. For our geeky man we can only say that take a walk. Sure he would have the best of humour and thoughts to stimulate your mind but no….our bodily cravings are always much more important. We Homo sapiens settle fro temporary pleasure, yeah one way I agree why not who’s sure of tomorrow, today? With movies like ‘Day after tomorrow’, scare the crap out of people. Well, coming back to the point now, your looks and bodily appearance plays such a important role today. No wonder we spend more that 30€ per month on shopping only for clothes. Not to forget the hair cuts, colouring, fitness centre, Botox treatment and what not, thanks to people like us all possible beauty related industry is cashing in. Did you know that if you’re cute enough, you can end up with your dream job? Just have a nice arse and the young geeky store clerk will give you ‘unknown super discounts’. Nice life isn’t it, and all this for what my skin looks better than the others. The point is that "Have we lost ourselves so much in this materialistic world that thoughts and idea don’t stimulate us no more but great arse does"?. Yes!it is indeed a difficult situation going up to a stranger and talking about topics that might stimulate your minds. You might either get easily ignored or that person might go off to the toilet never to come back to your stimulation saga or you might actually end being lucky and find someone who you really connect with. We have always known the fact that ‘beauty is only skin deep’ then why do we always quote the skin with layers to make it prettier? Probably is very easy to say but I am sure I would wake up tomorrow morning and coat my skin as well with some cream. Easy to write in but practicality is indeed hard, c’mon me a homo sapien as well. If you’re the one now nodding your head and saying no way I don’t give a damn to looks, I am sure a part of you which bought you to read this article till here was the picture to start with. See, we are unconsciously built into this world around with the notion that ‘Naomi Campbell, Heidi Clum, Josh Hartnett, Will Smith are the definitions of beauty. What if our earlier geeky man was crowned the ‘sexiest man alive’ and we would have been bought in a society where everyone thought, fat arse, bald head and huge nose was sexy. When you think about it, we never inquired ourselves what beauty actually is but we grew up on the preconceived notion on it. This is probably one of the topics where our opinions didn’t matter at all, one day somebody told us ‘hey boy this is what beauty is about’ and we simply agreed.
Hmm…like Murphy said ‘beauty is only skin deep but ugly goes to the bones’. Makes sense, isn’t it? Well does this mean we are supposed to quit flirting with the ‘gorgeous Spanish hunks’, coz they are well..."not beautiful", cant say that since it’s a preconceived notion but whatever they are should we stop? No of course not!!! Well as I always say my articles are always foods for the thought. Just think about it and party on.
Yesterday is history
Tomorrow is still a big mystery
Today is all we have, so rock it!

Dienstag, Mai 02, 2006

How screwed up are we?


Heard of something called "mood swings"....that’s happening quiet a lot to me now a days. Did you ever sit and wonder how smallest things can influence your mind? However hard you try to keep it under control like a tamed puppy but it still wanders off and sets its own rules.

Meditation is actually the daily part of my routine and I take time out to sit down for 10 minutes and ask myself “how are you today?” Before I even complete that question, the mind wonders off to thinking about what’s happening this weekend? or did I finish my Protocol? It is indeed saddening that we have lost in touch with ourselves. We have lost the patience we had. Believe me, we had all the patience in the world, the problem is we don’t remember it anymore.
The transport system here in Germany is indeed the best. When I say best I mean excellent. We have buses coming at 12:59 or 22:14. Every minute counts here. Today morning the bus came in at 14:00 instead of 13:57. The first reactions around at 13:58 looking at the watch for 5 times in the last 10 seconds, half a minute later walking around showing impatience, then at 13:59 start bitching about the system. It wasn’t any German but the reactions coming out were from me. I guess I have the guts at least to admit this fact, so now don’t think of me as some over pricey chick. Well, i still remember my dad used to refuse to send me to college with the car or with my driver. I had to take the bus like everybody else. There I waited for the bus for nearly half an hour or sometimes even more. I had no complains then. Life was indeed simpler in ways undefined. I did indeed complain but who gives a damn. I could never change the whole system with my two tiny hands. Interesting was to know that then I had the patience to with stand the pressure. But now not only me but everybody’s loosing it. Tell me how many times you sit in front of your laptop and open a website and that pages opens up after say 3minutes. Oh god…have you sat beside people who are waiting for that page to open up in 3 minutes. 3minutes now a day looks like 3 hours. We have just lost being patient and being satisfied with what we have. Very sad indeed but we always have something or the other to do, somewhere to run, some bus to catch. Running, running but for what? Now this is indeed a very philosophical question. Lemme not get into this now.

Last week my friend asked me what plans I had for the weekend. I said nothing. All of a sudden he felt sorry for me. Strangely, coz I had nothing to do, when he would be somewhere in a dumpster or with his head in the toilet totally wasted. Now people somehow call that life. I have nothing against it, I do party way too much sometimes but I always sit down and draw my line. At least I sit down to draw something; most of us don’t even have the time to do that. Seems like we have lost the true understanding of just ‘being with oneself’. Remember the last time you just went on a walk just by yourself. Without any iPOD, friends or a dog. I am sure you would laugh at me and ask why would anyone do that? In someway we all have a fear of getting lost on our own and don’t want to exihibit to the world. Lost in this messed up world, where simplicity has lost its appeal. So we always hold on to something, just to stay clear that we are alright and normal. If u just wonder around and smile at the trees changing colours at this time of the year, people might turn around and say ‘awwwww’!!! Define that ‘awww’ the way you want to. I know my definition already. Now a days it’s totally normal to be selfish, kill someone and say sorry, back stab your best friend and say you actually didn’t mean it that way. The more the impatient we get, the more we tend to walk into this messed up world, the further we walk on… more we realise ‘how fucked up, it is?’ but probably we would be sooo lost then that we cant find our way back.
I am sad that we are running so fast and determined that we are all missing out on the small diamonds on the way. Time for oneself is today some unknown ‘x’ to the power ‘y’ factor. After running all this way and at some point we stop, right!! But do we realise that we forgot to pick those ‘precious stones’ on the way. Just coz we were chasing some truck loaded with just STONES!!!

Donnerstag, April 27, 2006

4 feet 3 inches had a Thought!

Although i am a literature freak i hated reading poems. Maybe Ghazals (Something like poem in Hindi)but reading those few lines and not understanding them, always wondering what my english teacher told me about how we are suppposed to look for a deeper meaning in these poems. Well, my brain is not super cultivated for that but this one below written by a african boy totally has the appeal.
Just surprising how the mind explores without barriers of age, sex, race, culture or knowledge. The things you can say just having Microsoft word, a laptop and and your mind. Isnt it amazing?


When I born,
I Black,
When I grow up,
I Black,
When I go in Sun,
I Black,
When I scared,
I Black,
When I sick,
I Black,
And when I die,
I still black..
And you White fella,
When you born, you Pink,
When you grow up, you White,
When you go in Sun, you Red,
When you cold, you Blue,
When you scared, you Yellow,
When you sick, you Green,
And when you die, you Gray..
And you calling ME Colored ??

Sonntag, April 23, 2006

Yipeee Sunshine...


Today, its finally awesome weather. Awesome enough to wear my shorts and walk around. Perfect 17°C. Was talking to dad today and he told me about the untolerable weather in India. I cant beleive my pleasant city of Bangalore is soaring with 40°C. So we are grilling today..:D!Have fun you all.

Samstag, April 22, 2006

Read and SMILE:)



This Story was actually forwarded to me by a Friend. First thing i did after finishing this story was to smile. Read it and lemme know what you guys think.

My First Date by: PRASUN ROY

I still remember the first date I ever went on in my life. Usually
first dates are memorable to everyone but for me it was
something that I can never forget. I went out for my first date with my
high school crush when I was in class eleven. It
was a day that I planned for weeks and finally she, Rachna, agreed to
come out with me, Prasun Roy! In school who was
famous for being a person with a cool attitude with no constraints from
the family end, whose parents were more of buddies
than dominating guardians! However the fact remained that I too was
from a middle class family with core values and
principles like all others.

Back home I lied to my parents that I was going out for a school
excursion and managed to get the approval of my parents
and finally the day arrived.

After a short lunch at a funky restaurant, Rachna and I went hand in
hand for a movie. As the evening was drawing to a
close we were roaming in the streets of "New Market" talking to each
other, about each other. Life suddenly seemed so
beautiful.

All of a sudden, out of the forgotten multitude that was also walking
in the same street, I could see a familiar face
quite distinct- why I didn't know. As realization embraced my
consciousness, I comprehended that the face of the person
approaching me from the other side was of none other than but my
FATHER!

Within a fraction of a second all romanticism vanished from my heart
and a fear engrossed it instead. I could interpret in
that short time the amount of humility and shame I would face suddenly
as my father would recognize me, scold me after we
meet, and that was inevitable! Apart from the scorn that I would face
at home, I could also feel the embarrassment I would
face in front of Rachna, who recognized as the cool guy ... in school
as well as back home!

Crippled with the fear I only prayed that the earth would open up and I
would hide there from all the humility. However
there seemed no practical escape from it. Then some thing happened.

My father came near me, along with the now not-so-forgotten multitude,
looked into my eyes as a stranger and passed by me
rubbing his shoulder against mine and passed by without even
recognizing me. It was the biggest shock and relief of my
life. I still don't know which emotion was predominant at that moment.

After sometime, Rachna went away to her home oblivious of the fact what
ever I just revealed, and I came back to mine.

At home that night, life seemed to me like a prison. I went for dinner
with a fearful heart and a lost appetite. To my
surprise, everything was so very normal. My mother served dinner and we
all ate the usual way. This made my life more
miserable. I quickly finished my food and went back to my room.
Questions crowded my mind and I couldn't figure out what
might have happened after my father came back home and revealed about
my forged romantic rendezvous. Why everything was
still so normal pained my mind even more!

Presently my father calmly came into my room and sat beside me. I
looked into his eyes with fear in mine but discovered a
smooth comfort in his! He soothingly asked, "So Sunny Boy, how was your
date, I must say she was a pretty and sweet lady!"

Like somewhat mesmerized I revealed everything to him about my first
date and added, "Dad, it was simply out of this world,
but the day passed away life a few minutes only!"

He smiled and said, "You know what, Albert Einstein once said ... Put
your hand on a hot oven for a minute and it would
seem like and hour; put your hand upon those of a pretty lady for an
hour and it would seem like a minute! Now that's
relativity. Its all relative, the fact is how much you cherish what you
gained ... RIGHT! This is the biggest lesson of
life my son"

I had never seen my father being like this before; he was more of a
buddy than my guardian actually. I could feel within
me that I would never ever be able to hide anything else from him, he
actually understood me much more than my own self.

We talked for an hour and I would remember those words forever perhaps!
I couldn't interpret whether it was my First Date
with my dream girl or the First Date of knowing my father actually.
However I knew that I realized how much I loved and
respected my father after that. Just as he was leaving my room I called
him and said "Thank You daddy! Thank you so much!"

Both of us knew what I was thankful for and required no mentioning. He
turned towards me with his dreamy eyes and said
these words...

"Hey son, how could I ever let you down my child, never! I would just
say, whatever happens in life and whomever you love
in your life and to whatever degree, you only remember one thing that
your Daddy has loved you 18 years more than that. 18
years more than that dear!"

He switched off the light and went to his room. In the mild blue and
gray of the moonlight ushering into my room through
the window I too could feel one thing ... Yes, its truly 18 more years
of Love, I, or any child, can never ever cover up!
It was in fact my First Date, the first one of actually realizing the
Love I had taken for granted for all those Eighteen
Years perhaps! It truly was so...:)

Freitag, April 21, 2006

Shout for my FREEDOM!


Since this is one of my favourite things i wrote and didnt get much attention to it, i am reposting it. My sole purpose on writing on such sensitive topics like this are just to evoke your minds to start thinking 'outside the box'...that is if u havent started already. Just that you all know...my dad hates this one piece i wrote and doesnt agree with it. Am i glad about the ´system of democracy now. 'Freedom of speech' to be in particular.:))
Your baby daughter, who would actually be celebrating her 20th birthday in 2 weeks comes home at 22:00 on a Saturday back from no pub or disco but from a friends place 10 minutes away. Well back home, the reaction is fuming, the father embarrasses her in front her friend who accompanied her. What seemed like an innocent walk to get some fresh air, turned into this question of ‘self-esteem and trust. So when asked, what was that all about ‘they simply nod and say Parenting’!!! What is parenting? Yelling at your kids because they are a little late or imposing rules on them which are actually doing no good. In my words, its just paving a tarred road to hell because 60% of it tends be a lie.
Today in India we talk about no gender differences, equality to one and all. We always read this in the papers, raise our eyebrows, nod to the thought and turn on. So why is that guys never get questioned but we girls do. Yes, yes my folks tell me that it’s all for my own safety and we are not mature enough to take care ourselves. But please somebody tell me, when do we finally grow up. This so called possessiveness that parents talk about is in fact making us all ‘frogs in the well’. We are all aware about the story, I am sure!! I am purely typing this from a girl’s perspective. Although I think in some cases it might be applicable to the opposite sex as well. Parents bring us up here, always with a difference/discrimination and expect us to fight and succeed in a man’s world. Where in some families, talking to a guy is considered to be a taboo. Please don’t think it’s pathetic but it’s sadly the truth.
Why is that ‘Parenting, is always seen from a 40 or 50 years old perspective and never from a 19 or 20 years old ones. Are we that dumb to have no perspective at all? I thought parenting was all about making us youngsters responsible and help in building a better tomorrow. Where is tomorrow when I have to face 10 thousand questions about going out. Freedom makes us stronger and more responsible. Why is freedom always seen in a negative perspective in our country? How come nobody listens to us? Just because parents are 20 or 30 years older to us, that doesn’t mean, whatever they say must be the ‘etched words on Roman walls’. I know experience and seeing life counts but how do you expect someone to learn to ride a bicycle without expecting him/her to fall.
21st century, everything’s changed. Globalisation, internet, fast food, nano technology and what not. Listen to me, nothings changed, you see two or three malls coming up in your neighbourhoods, that’s it! Being in certain families we have no say and always live under fear. Lie to cover up all the truth. So its always amusing to read through issues about open healthy relationships between parents and kids only in magazines but hardly anyone gives a though to it. I remember reading in my primary classes that Gandhi said something, that read ‘ At 00:00 O’clock when a girl could walk the streets of India without fear, is when it would be pronounced as a free nation’. I guess that way India would never be termed ‘free’. For Christ’s sake bringing up a girl is always such a chaos. Everything has to be different and complicated. Why? I know it’s a big bad world out there but don’t we have to face it at one point or the other. Why not earlier than later? Life is not always walk on bed of roses. We are born into this harsh reality by chance not choice. Rising, falling, loving, getting hurt are all a part and parcel, why not let us live this reality earlier than later. Does holding on to us make the process any easier or colourful?
Parenting most people forget is not about setting rules and always proving that you are right but sitting down and cleaning your ear wax to ‘listen’. One person doesn’t always get to say where to draw the line. Accidents happen, sad things have happened to people earlier but that is no excuse to have your kids locked away forever from the ever growing world. We literally have to beg for permission for days to go on a school/college excursion. When do we see that freedom? When are we termed responsible? Can you guys please let us fall a few times to get us riding our ways through our lives? You folks are not going to hang around us forever will you? Welcome to the world of reality!! Isn’t it time already to let go a bit and reduce on the restrictions, yelling, nagging and questioning. I have a choice, I don’t have live with this forever I fly to Germany in 2 weeks to go on with my fourth semester but my life is no different for me when I am here for my vacations. Being in two continents, two nations, two cultures sadly I see the bigger picture and realise the difference. I speak for all those who are reading this and nodding, who are just sick of listening and now wanna talk !!! So will you please let us ‘Grow up’!

Donnerstag, April 20, 2006

An Interview which led to the TRUTH!


Well, it’s been quiet sometime since I updated you all. So let me start.

The recent happening’s that has made me to Q about many things about self growth, my life and the drive to push to the limits was my interview with Proctar and Gamble. This was the interview for my internship which will last for a period of six months and is the part of my study curriculum. Unlike India here education is always practically based, don’t come and ask me what’s the molecular weight of Glucose (well that’s not all complicated, jus couldn’t think of anything complicated) but if you do come and ask me how to deal with my customer or how do I take part in a Product development, probably that I might answer after my internship. Well, at the end of the day doesn’t it all that matter? How much your company made? How many customers did you talk into buying your product? Well why doesn’t Indian education system realise this, at the end of the day what we all fight over is reservation system. Ooooo…I am walking away from the topic again…like always, let me come back!

So my interview with the MNC, P&G! This interview jus proved it that how people all over the world just want the best. It doesn’t matter you might have the best of scores and the best of recommendation letters from XYZ but at the end of the day if you don’t know how to sell yourself then you are doomed. Knowledge has always been there but if you don’t know how to use it what’s the point? I doubt if the Wright brothers didn’t throw in some Bamboo sticks, some fabric and aerodynamics said we are going to fly then I would think off sea sickness whenever I wanna to come home.
The interview indeed was very very long, an unbelievable 4 n 1/2 hours. Once I walked out of the building, I questioned myself damn….these people know more about me now than I ever did myself. The Questions that they asked me were so full of hidden understanding. Although it sounded like a simple Q but the relevance would be something very very deep and important. Along with the interview I had to do an hour test of logistic, maths, graphs and reading. Damn, these are serious people I thought! I suck at maths so no hopes there but to put innocent bachelor students through this process makes me stop wondering why these companies are the best and always stand out.

Well, my true passing thoughts were during the whole process, oh my god! If they could take the best out in us and make maximum use of it then why can’t we do that on our own and bring up a P&G in every street corner? Why does every graduate from the IIM’s always dream about a seven figure salary but not through his own establishment but always slaving for some MNC. There have been very few who have stood out. Probably being normal human beings, we ten to give up soon enough, coz something doesn’t happen the way we want it to happen….we call it dooms day! Me no exception. I wish everybody could say ‘I am not asking you to think that I am the best but I am telling you that I am the best’. I would sure be disappointed if I don’t get in but I think loosing me is their loss! I am sorry for them. This attitude itself can make these harsh realities so much tolerable and inspiring. Ooooonly if, all of us were thought ‘this fact’ in school or else where. Life would be bustling with soooo much more engery and optimism that we probably could see a Lakshmi Mittal and a Amartya Sen in every second kid.

Well I know I wanted to talk about something else but always end up saying something else. But then whatever it is, It is the truth, isn’t it? So the interpretations are different but understanding is always left to the one reading it. RIGHT!!!:)

Montag, April 10, 2006

more snow....yipeee(totally sarcastic one!!)


'Silent night holy night'......the christmas is back in April. What a wonder!!!

The ghost is here,evrything is white...


Okay people..nothing is goin to happen with Germany, i hope you all read the yesterdays forecast about germanys weather. Today its snowing, its bloody snowing in April. I have no words.Literally, i have no words to type, so i will just leave it at this. SOme pics you see were taken outside my window in the morning. I just to want to check my calender, if tomorrow is the 25th of dec or something. COz it sure looks like chirstmas to me.

Sonntag, April 09, 2006

Me, my country and my Questions.


Sitting in the comforts of Germany's technological capital of Stuttgart I was watching the movie 'Bombay'. Watching the movie after a break of 5 years was itself a change for me. Now I could understand why young people like me fish for opportunities abroad and fly here for those unrealised dreams.
I surely did realise mine, to get the best out of here and get back home, my motherland and do something for her! But when you see features like Bombay which is ironically not very far away from reality, man always has second thoughts. Living here for almost past two years here I have learnt there are consequences and remarks for being a brown person in a white capital! We come here with high hopes and yes they are not disappointed but why are that whatever you do, whatever you earn, whatever fun you have….you never fit in! Go ahead and get a cosmetic surgery and become white but still you are someone else whose supposed to belong somewhere else. These moments you realise how much you would respect and would want to be a perfect citizen of your nation .Coz that’s where you fit in. Well why is it that the simple truth like this suddenly seems to vanish when we step foot on similar grounds. It’s like we start taking every thing for granted. I speak of my own experiences, I fly home tomorrow and I know exactly how I would feel….yes ecstatic on one side but careless, granted on the other. I have to always remind myself before throwing a piece of garbage on the street that 'just coz I am home doesn’t mean I can litter the streets'!!! Which I would dare not do here in the F1 capital.
I always remember how my flat mate, a Nigerian told me 'whatever it is you do, a black man cannot live a life of contentment here, when I still see a few heads turn around the streets…!! Turn around not to check me out but to check if they still have their baggage\belongings right by them and not nicked away'. So why is that after all that we know these truths we still end up taking the challenge of coming down here, like my friend the Nigerian did? The answers are pretty obvious for better opportunity, comforts, future. Which thinking on a neutral basis could have been achieved in our country itself but we HUMANS fishing always for a change! Hmm change is not all we are looking for but to save ourselves from another Ayodhya riot or CET gamble. Yes, you can term me as being selfish but who isn’t?
But I get up every morning thanking the lord for everything he has given me, all the comforts and opportunities and somewhere very deep I do feel contended although away from home. I am happy, why because '19 and the all the freedom in the world` no but I am far away from another Bombay blast or the Bhopal massacre. The movie indeed had a happy ending but reality bites my friend! No Mani Ratnam to Shout Out 'CUT'!!!
The number of youngsters coming to the land of opportunities let it be the US of A or Queens country or my second home Germany is on the rise every year! Well, what can I expect when I read the Times of India e-paper everyday about the clashes of CET. I thank the lords that I kinda had a narrow escape from that agony. Sometimes sitting alone in my balcony my mind wonders thinking, 'if we are the future of the country' then what the hell are we doing sitting here thousands of miles away? Then another thought comes, if I do get back will I make any difference, no let me rephrase 'can I make any difference'?!?!
When I sit sometimes talking to my friend Andreas, I call him the 'Latino hunk'! About my country and the problems! Because it’s not very different for him either coming from a troubled country like Ecaudor. He simply says 'my hair would grey sooner if I think so much' and ends up dragging me to a party. SO again, are we the future of the nation? These unanswered questions frustrates me soooo….I get back to actually solving the most obvious answered question 'what is the structure of polyvinylchloride?

Samstag, April 08, 2006

A haunting Question?


I had this Q from a very long time in my head. Is it me or after watching Rang de basanthi that you get pissed off coz your hands are tied and literally cant do anything? You jus have see the crap and live with it. Bringin a change as portrayed in the movie might be somewhat impossible. Although in the end you see a few voices where raised and then...?!? Luckily movies always end after 2hr30min but what about real life?!?!

hmm...my first words!!

Look beyond…somebody said to me and ever since I have been looking beyond. Since when I was a kid always had the mind to venture into the unkown. For good or bad, my dad, my mentor had the same thoughts, so it was well gelled up thought process of the two of us that bought us to do many things.

Talking about venturing, I did so when I finished my Second PUC and decided to go on to study in Germany. Sitting here in the balcony of my Student Dorm Kitchen in a small but peaceful city of Reutlingen, approx. 23ks away from the Technological Capital of Europe. I ask myself what was that made me accept this venture. Or merely made me decide to have the thought leaving everything I have ever known and take this step into the unknown.
I know that Germany isn’t that a popular place to study when compared to the US of A or the UK especially for your Bachelors. The challenge of learning a foreign language and literally studying Chemistry in German lured me into the whole process. Which by the way is still is an every day challenge. I got out because I needed to see, see everything there is and I come here I have seen it all. I know that I just turned 19 this March but the experience of staying independantly in an Alien Land with the Alien language to add, teach you all. Trust me, for the people in the folds of their parents, whatever best education they might get will never learn the vital elements needed to live and survive. I think I have come here and see lots of downs rather than ups. These sentences dosent suggest that I am asking everybody to book the next flight to Germany or Timbuktu. But stressing the need of self learning, which you automatically are in access to once you come to a place where self help is the best help. I grew up with the notion that academics is a deal but not a big one. My folks always stressed upon figuring out things on your own, doing things by yourself, and thinking outside the box. We are surrounded with the fact that academics is everything. The ease with which people live here makes me jealous. I pray if back home we had the same attitude. Taking a break here and doing something you always wanted to do. To explore other possibilities in life. Enjoy what you are doing and just don’t do it for the heck of it. The fact that studying here or just simply living here provides so many possibilities that it easy for man to get diverted easily and don’t have a constant flow, which we as Indian fear the most. But if your stable of your thought of what you want you can make the best of your life here. Maybe me stressing on living abroad and learning soo many things is wrong I guess.
Personally I suggest don’t even dare stepping out into this world of freedom at the mere age of 18-19. It is so easy to be lured with the colorful things that one can be easily diverted. And I speak this from experience. I think the biggest false notion we have here is that 'everybody naturally assumes that studying outside India is a bed of Roses'. Welcome to the world of reality where it is not all that 'rosy' as it looks.

I totally support the concept of getting the best out of things and implementing it for a better future. But before you take this bold step as yourself one question 'Do I have the audacity to hold on'? After stepping out nothing else would then matter, what anybody says doesn’t matter but it all zeroes down to one thing …… 'YOU'!!!

Just updating..

Nothing much happening in my life except for i have to do a internship next semster and i have a call back on a interview from P&G and i really want this internship. I am jus keeping my fingers crossed and hoping for the best.
The only part that sucks is that the entrance test in this company as soo much logistic and maths in it. I am just out of my bachelors but i need to know everything. The test is indeed a tough one no piece of cake. Well, i dont know if these MNC's are just pressurizing us on performing better even before you get the internship. Just too much to think about for a 20 year old teenager. I am not complaining but sometimes doesnt it jus get on your nerves that when you are abroad you got to think about yourself. Decide every tiny detail on your own. SOmetimes i do wish that i was just under the roof where dad was talkin the decisions. But this life rocks as well but then nothing can be perfect can it?!?!
Well i must go to bed now but i will write more about what happend. SO keep checking in. And write in what you guys think, eps. the ones working in MNC's and also you dudes and dudettes living abroad.