How screwed up are we?

Heard of something called "mood swings"....that’s happening quiet a lot to me now a days. Did you ever sit and wonder how smallest things can influence your mind? However hard you try to keep it under control like a tamed puppy but it still wanders off and sets its own rules.

Meditation is actually the daily part of my routine and I take time out to sit down for 10 minutes and ask myself “how are you today?” Before I even complete that question, the mind wonders off to thinking about what’s happening this weekend? or did I finish my Protocol? It is indeed saddening that we have lost in touch with ourselves. We have lost the patience we had. Believe me, we had all the patience in the world, the problem is we don’t remember it anymore.
The transport system here in Germany is indeed the best. When I say best I mean excellent. We have buses coming at 12:59 or 22:14. Every minute counts here. Today morning the bus came in at 14:00 instead of 13:57. The first reactions around at 13:58 looking at the watch for 5 times in the last 10 seconds, half a minute later walking around showing impatience, then at 13:59 start bitching about the system. It wasn’t any German but the reactions coming out were from me. I guess I have the guts at least to admit this fact, so now don’t think of me as some over pricey chick. Well, i still remember my dad used to refuse to send me to college with the car or with my driver. I had to take the bus like everybody else. There I waited for the bus for nearly half an hour or sometimes even more. I had no complains then. Life was indeed simpler in ways undefined. I did indeed complain but who gives a damn. I could never change the whole system with my two tiny hands. Interesting was to know that then I had the patience to with stand the pressure. But now not only me but everybody’s loosing it. Tell me how many times you sit in front of your laptop and open a website and that pages opens up after say 3minutes. Oh god…have you sat beside people who are waiting for that page to open up in 3 minutes. 3minutes now a day looks like 3 hours. We have just lost being patient and being satisfied with what we have. Very sad indeed but we always have something or the other to do, somewhere to run, some bus to catch. Running, running but for what? Now this is indeed a very philosophical question. Lemme not get into this now.

Last week my friend asked me what plans I had for the weekend. I said nothing. All of a sudden he felt sorry for me. Strangely, coz I had nothing to do, when he would be somewhere in a dumpster or with his head in the toilet totally wasted. Now people somehow call that life. I have nothing against it, I do party way too much sometimes but I always sit down and draw my line. At least I sit down to draw something; most of us don’t even have the time to do that. Seems like we have lost the true understanding of just ‘being with oneself’. Remember the last time you just went on a walk just by yourself. Without any iPOD, friends or a dog. I am sure you would laugh at me and ask why would anyone do that? In someway we all have a fear of getting lost on our own and don’t want to exihibit to the world. Lost in this messed up world, where simplicity has lost its appeal. So we always hold on to something, just to stay clear that we are alright and normal. If u just wonder around and smile at the trees changing colours at this time of the year, people might turn around and say ‘awwwww’!!! Define that ‘awww’ the way you want to. I know my definition already. Now a days it’s totally normal to be selfish, kill someone and say sorry, back stab your best friend and say you actually didn’t mean it that way. The more the impatient we get, the more we tend to walk into this messed up world, the further we walk on… more we realise ‘how fucked up, it is?’ but probably we would be sooo lost then that we cant find our way back.
I am sad that we are running so fast and determined that we are all missing out on the small diamonds on the way. Time for oneself is today some unknown ‘x’ to the power ‘y’ factor. After running all this way and at some point we stop, right!! But do we realise that we forgot to pick those ‘precious stones’ on the way. Just coz we were chasing some truck loaded with just STONES!!!